I spent the entire half of my morning crying for superficial reasons like 1) how I really hate the henna on my hands (also not helping that I am having a throbbing headache and puked water since I haven’t eaten anything because I have zero appetite and all because of the smell of the henna), 2) I don’t like my bridal bouquet and I should have gotten fresh flowers but a lot of factors were stopping me but if I knew it was gonna make me cry like this, I’d have gotten all the fresh flowers I could, 3) I realise I can’t stand my nikah dress because it’s not me, it’s not worth the money, it’s so unflattering, it’s seriously not worth the money lah I have to repeat this twice. So.. I don’t know. All these three things will come together tomorrow morning for my solemnisation and I pray it won’t show on my face.

Maybe I’m just stressed right? I haven’t been at all this entire journey of wedding planning and suddenly today, of all days, I decided to burst out crying snapping at everyone sampai muntah muntah. And maybe it’s just pms and it’s making me super emotional?

Please pray for me that this weekend I’ll be okay and relaxed and tak mengada-ngada sangat


-30: sodium x magnesium

Everything is suddenly speeding up.

I haven’t distributed the wedding cards to my friends/colleagues. I haven’t started anything on the room (but I guess that’s because my brother and his wife are still not moving out). I haven’t followed up anything with my vendors (video, photo, bridal, decor, kompang) and I don’t know if I should or just wait for them. I haven’t chosen any appropriate songs for our wedding and for our video.

I’m at this stage where I don’t care anymore and I’ll just let things happen as it is. I have spent the past one year planning for this wedding and as I’m getting nearer to the date, I’m less enthusiastic about it. I don’t even know if I’m excited for our honeymoon. My period tracker app says I’ll be getting my period two days before the wedding and I was contemplating on taking pills to delay but I’m just like f it lah. But I’m weirdly looking forward to that in between time we have together, the Monday-Tuesday before we fly for our funtime on Wednesday. The thought of walking hand in hand running our errands with heavy henna on my hands and wedding rings on our fingers is making me giddy hehe.

I have been with him for 4 years and 5 months today. It’s crazy to think how all the time spent laughing, fighting, crying these past years is leading up to this. And in a month’s time things will change and it’s only the beginning of everything.

I’m listening to Jason Mraz’s Details in The Fabric as I’m typing this and I’m getting very emotional. But in the words of James Morrison, “and everything will be fine”.

100, soon


Selamat hari raya, everyone! ♥♥♥

Right now we’re in between the 3-4 months to the wedding, and next week it will be the start of double digit countdown time. I can’t believe how fast time passes by. The start of the year feels like yesterday but at the same time it feels like so long ago? I know 3.5 months will go by in a flash but I still feel like my wedding isn’t until a year from now. I haven’t thought much about the wedding itself, we’ve been mostly discussing about our life after like housing (boleh jadi bahan pergaduhan everytime we discuss this k) and our raya itinerary for next year haha.

We finally got our rings settled yesterday. Nothing fancy, nothing too simple either. It has a thick band and I really like it! There was one time I was at this particular Lee Hwa outlet and the SA insisted I get myself a solitaire ring and you know lah, I cannot wear a diamond solitaire. The one I’ll end up liking would probably cost $5xxx and the ones I can afford would look so dainty on my already thick finger. But he totally disregarded the one I had my eyes my on and said my choice is nothing as compared to the solitaire yang dia mati mati nak aku beli?? Sure it’s nice but ape ni. Ding dong ding dong here and there and when he realised that we were not gonna make any deposit that night, member terus brought us to the door and said see you again next time. Dia halau kita okay!!! So far all of the customer service we’ve gotten at other LH outlets were really good but this one made me want to vomit only pfft.

July should be the month where we get to select our outfits and I am soooo looking forward to this walaupun it’s at freaking toh guan. There are some outfits that I like but not sure how they’ll look on me and Ghibli so luckily this bridal can try try as many as we like. And only then I’ll decide what colors my girls will be wearing. We’re getting our nikah outfits done by RN and this is something I am absolutely dreading. I’ve heard quite a few bad/mediocre reviews and now I don’t know if paying an additional $500 was a good choice. The customer service is horrendous. I asked them to correct my contact number on the invoice which they got wrong and they were all like “because i follow what u gave me above” LOL yah I accidentally gave a digit wrong which I corrected within seconds takkan bengap sangat masih pakai number tu!! Ape punya alasan ni. Then a month ago I texted again asking when would be the first appointment and they said, “I will get bck to u regarding the slots ok. it will be this mth.” Wahlao that time this month is ramadan okay and I asked again lah kalau July boleh tak and then she gave me the blue tick. Something tells me she’ll end up calling that wrong number when the time comes. I don’t know if I mengada-ngada sangat but ya Allah I don’t want to deal with them lah 😦

My brother and his wife are only moving out exactly a month to the wedding. This means I have less than a month to turn the room into a bridal chamber. To get new furniture, to paint, to decorate in less than a month seems daunting. There are so many other things to settle, aren’t there? Decor, bridal, hantaran, henna. Dulu cakap nak do everything after raya and now that the time has come, I have no idea where to start. I’m still pretty relaxed. Don’t know if that’s a good thing.


Unpopular opinion


I am very sick of hearing all these hantaran talks that’s been circulating online. And I think it’s because I’m in the wedding planning phase that I’m easily triggered by all the comments made by netizens. You know how some people (mostly Malaysian women on facebook) say things like they only spent this little amount for their wedding? Because they decided to eliminate all these unnecessary spendings? Like having just mas kahwin with no hantaran. Or holding a walimah for nothing more than 100 pax. Yes, the most blessed marriage (nikah) is the one with the least expenses. But man, it seems like you’re doing the humble bragging. And it gets me everytime. It’s like you’re shaming those who chose to have a lavish wedding with five live stations and $20,000 hantaran. I know, or I hope at least, that it’s not your intention. Sigh. Why am I so affected with this.

Sis ada problem ni..

Assalamualaikum sihat semua? Sis sihat alhamdulillah and badan pun makin sihat ni astaghfirullah boleh kasi sis tips nak kecikkan badan selain pergi gym tak pasal sis adalah semangat sign up untuk jadi member tapi sejak bulan dua hari tu dah tak pergi lagi pasal malas nauzubillah. Duit pon burn tapi nasib company boleh bayarkan untuk gym membership so tak lah terkilan sangat hahah.

But no seriously though. Do you girls have any strict habits you follow so that that first bridal fitting wouldn’t be so tormentous? I have been trying to drink more water (but I always drink like 3-4 litres of water each day so this is easy) and stop on sugary drinks, eliminate fast food and cut down on rice, and stop eating after a certain time.. all these tips I’ve heard of lah basically since October last year (konon here’s to a better eating habit one year to wedding) but it’s been five months since those and I AM A HUGE FAILURE LOL. Every new month I’m like OKAY LET’S DO THIS NO JOKE but then every morning my colleague would ask what we want for breakfast and I’ll be like hmm that super gao milo peng from opposite pls? I hate myself.

A while back before I started this blog I came across this btb’s blog from 2013 and how she lost 26kg(!!!!!!) in 8 months. 12kg in the first 3 months and I was so motivated. I’m not the kind who needs her rice daily in fact I think I can go on without rice for a really long time. But ntah asal macam susah nak lose weight? I blame it on my lack of ability to cook and the inacessibility to get proper halal food around my workplace haha. Haiya actually aku ni banyak songeh and semangat seminit punya orang.

Okay lah okay tomorrow marks my 7 months to wedding so I will start this proper tomorrow. I’m gonna meet my fiance after work and makan besar dulu hahahahahaissss



Cik Hail jangan marah kalau Uji bertanya~

It’s not that I am extremely excited and eager to get married (actually I kinda am lah but I try not to show it too much), I’m just mostly curious at what marriage life would be like with my fiance? You know what I mean? Other than important family (birthday) dinners, we don’t spend time with each other’s families. We also don’t hang out at each other’s homes to laze around and watch tv. We’re very much family oriented people just not with each other’s families lol. Kind of surprising I guess since we’ve been together for almost four years.

So lately I’ve been thinking a whole lot about it .. coming home to a husband, weekends with a husband, getting ready for work and attending family functions with a husband. Is it just like my life now but with an extra person or would things be completely different? I’m not talking about the new responsibilities we each gonna have as a spouse but more on the day to day activities.Surely I’m not the only one who has such thoughts?

I hold back a lot. Amongst my closest friends of five, I’m one of the two who’s attached and I don’t even know if the other attached friend has plans to get married. Yang lain jangan cakap, asik travel every other month ntah mane dorang dapat leave banyak banyak. So none understands the phase I’m going through. I don’t plan to share this journey either until nearer to the date because I don’t want to be labelled as a kakak kakak kemaruk gila nak kahwin. Although I know they won’t think of me as such but I can’t help it haha.

I obviously share my feelings (regarding this wedding/marriage journey) with my fiance, I mean this whole thing won’t exist without him kot. But even so, I find myself not expressing everything. Ntah asal, the more I talk about the wedding, the more I feel very superficial. Like I should talk less on wedding, and discuss more on marriage. But it’s not like we can skip the wedding kan? It still has to happen. And in order for it to happen smoothly, we need to plan it swee swee. But everytime I’m planning it, again I’d feel like aku kemaruk gila nak kahwin. Sigh.

250 days to go as of today. 8 months next week. Nak cakap lama tak lah lama sangat, nak cakap cepat, it still feels like forever more. Everytime I think of October, I think of the things I have to go through first at work. The 3 more exam blocks, 2 more university exam board meetings, and the endless exams ughhhh.

Okay my fiance just texted asking to meet after work to do some planning. Love it when he initiates the planning heheh.



Venue horror

I nak ceciter sikit. I mentioned the other day I was supposed to meet this HDB officer sometime this week and I did. And I cannot stand her ya Allah 😦 Jumpa bawah block je terus, “okay so if you wanna make a tentage here I’d rather you not cos lat…” WEH baru jumpa kot! Handshake takde, tanye khabar tak nak terus bilang tak boleh buat tentage. She then brought up how this one wedding a few months ago didn’t ask for her approval to build a tentage at the walkway area. That wedding was of course my brother’s HAHAH but I didn’t say anything lah mampos aku kena blacklisted nanti. I confirmed with my dad and he said he didn’t know we have to inform of the tentage. But nvm, different story.

She yak and yak how it’s not okay because it blocks people’s way, especially when it rains and they have nowhere else to walk. I don’t know if you guys can visualise but imagine a long tentage that can hold 5-6 round tables minimum I think? She told me, “but if you really want a tentage here can lah maybe just put one table so people can still walk?” Ah ye, aku bayar almost a thousand to have it kau nak aku taruk satu table je lah? Sure okay boleh why not pasal important sangat kan nak kasi orang jalan macam takde tempat lain gitu. Pfft.

I get it lah. You’re just doing your job so I guess I can understand. But her aura.. my goodness. She looks much younger than me, maybe in early 20s, and she seems really proud that she has this power to forfeit the void deck rental deposit because people don’t want to comply to the rules. I know ni dah macam buruk sangka but I’m not making this up 😦 She literally said she’s totally okay to forfeit any deposit if I don’t ask for her permission. Aku punya MP baey yam keng pon tak cakap macam gini seh.

I can do the booking 6 months before so it’ll be 14 April, which happens to be a PH on a Friday. I casually asked her if this means I can only book on the following week on Monday and she said, “HAHA you no need so chun chun book 6 months before lah!” AKU PUNYA PASAL AH HOW SIANG AKU NAK BOOK!!!!!! Wah damn pek chek talk to her really.

I read somewhere how this bride couldn’t stand seeing all the old bicycles at her void deck so she decided to ask her town council about it and after a while with their help, she managed to get most of them cleared off the area. Ntah asal I decided to ask her the same thing when I know I will get an unbothered reply. She mentioned there’s a notice every few months for residents to clear their unused bikes or smth (I’ve never seen such notice and the old bikes have been there for years I think). This part I got lazy and I told her I’d better make a move first.

Ikutkan hati nak cakap je pasal cina mati yang sampai satu minggu……….. itu lagi tak boleh jalan but yelah, aku diam je. Siapalah aku.