5 months to go so here’s an update!

Marriage preparation ourse: Went for our 1 day course at Apkim yesterday and we found ourselves crying 20 minutes into it haha sampai the trainer said she’s never come across such cengeng couple during these courses. First half was the personalised session while the second half we joined five other couples and it was hilarious. Except for the part where the second trainer keeps making sexual jokes and I don’t know about you, but I HATE it when Malays make sexual jokes like I will honestly get so uncomfortable and cringe. Not saying I’m a prude but sigh. I understand the whole layaning the husband is a wife’s responsibility but the whole time during the course it sounds like as if wives are sexual slaves. Then the whole class started laughing when I asked, “abeh kalau isteri nak tapi suami tak nak?” and the trainer lagi boleh cakap, “kalau gitu suami tu bodoh namanya!!” I don’t know how to feel about this. Oh wells that aside, most importantly, everything taught ada unsur-unsur agama. I’ve also been attending marriage related classes conducted by Muslim Youth Forum since beginning of the year when I’m free and the recent one titled “Sharing Your Husband with Your Mother In Law” was absolutely amazing.

Kain for family: The family has also settled their kains for Saturday and Sunday. Lepas beban because we’ve been debating what colors to wear and my brother told me off when I said no to one of the laces because “bukan kau yang pakai ape!!” haha memang betul but NO.

Dulang: Tarte had their festival sale last month and Sephora had the recent black sale and with this, I spent a whopping $7xx on makeup lol I hate myself Banyak lah nak save duit. Some of the items will go on my dulang so I’ve got about three settled. Left with two more dulangs. Need to buy ring and last dulang next month so tak payah pikir pasal ni lagi. Such unnecessary spending haha ugh

Tok Kadi/ROMM: We can register this coming week and I’m not sweating about this since my tunang and his mom will settle on “booking” of the tok kadi. Initially wanted my uncle-in-law to be my saksi and I was set on this for months until I realise how come I didn’t ask my brother eh? My mom talked to him about it to see if he’s okay and he was like yes of course and then she said “okay jangan pergi mana mana hari tu” ??????? Adik dia nak nikah kot?? Mana eh dia nak pergi?? Kelakar seram mak aku ni satu

Wedding card: Talked to the guy on whatsapp (my aunt got me to liaise directly with him) and he sent me basically a million pictures of wedding card samples until I don’t know how to choose. Coincidentally he lives right behind my workplace so I asked if it’s okay to meet him during lunch time to see the samples in real life and he said okay so yay meeting him tomorrow to finalise. Then left with the details and hopefully can no longer think about this by end of this month.

I don’t know what else. Still relaxed. About 150 days left. I hope to not worry about this during Ramadan so I can fully focus on my much needed detox and cleansing myself haha. Things should start getting busy in July. Kalau July pon masih relaxed aku tak tahu ape nak cakap.

Bride’s Girl Gang

bridesmaids

(Photo Credit: Hafizudin Hamdan)

I didn’t know I was going to have bridesmaids until my four girlfriends sternly and confidently asked said, “we are going to be your bridesmaids, RIGHT?” lol. I was put on the spot so I obviously had to say yes. Just kidding lah, I have been toying with the idea of having my own bride’s brigade and there’s really no one who’s more fitting than these girls. Quite literally cos they’re my only friends HAHAHAH!! And like, we live just a few blocks away from one another so it’ll be easy for me to pull a “malam ni korang free kan? tolong mak aku pack berkat pls?” or “tengok tengokkan eh dari tingkap kalau pelamin roboh ke tak” haha.

I thought bridesmaids were completely unnecessary until I saw my brother’s groomsmen. He had like around 10 okay wth?? While my sil had none?? Asal perangai bridezilla sangat ni isn’t it usually the other way round haha. Despite seeing how hard they worked on his wedding day, I still have no idea the roles my bridesmaids should take on seh….. I have only been a bridesmaid once and I was a completely useless one at it. And it was one of my closest friends’ wedding somemore. Menyesal gila and I still shudder at the thought of how useless I was haha.

So anyway.. yah. What help did you girls get (or planning to get) from your own squad? Someone to run the event and ensure the itinerary is being followed? Bride’s right-hand woman and mak andam replacement when she leaves? Side hostess to help your parents and guide guests to them and gather families for photo taking? Someone to liaise with vendors and make payments?

HAHA BENGAP LAH DAH TANYA ABEH JAWAB SENDIRI!!!

But okay this is something I’m quite curious about. The outfits they’ll be wearing. I’m not gonna make them wear Poplook dresses because it’s not them and I know they won’t wear it again. Does the bride pay for this or do they fork out on their own…? I’m leaning towards the former but if I’m already providing them the fabric, do I still pay to get them tailored or this is them? Isn’t it also troublesome to get my girls go through the hassle of having something tailored? The last thing I want is for my family and friends to feel my wedding is a burden seh 😦

#TreatYoSelf

I was reading through some of your blogs and realised there are so many of you girls getting married in the next month. Must be such a nice feeling to be counting down the days when it’s nearing eh?

Anyway. What is it about brides to be and (unnecessarily) spending so much money in the months and weeks leading up to their wedding day? And why am I one of these people? I am already making a list on what services I intend to set aside some money for?? Remember when I said talking about weddings makes me feel very superficial and shallow. Yes, this. Exactly this. Please tolong jangan kecam saya. I only want to feel good and also look the best for my husband 😦

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I have about 7 years full months to my wedding and these are some of the things I want to do haha please don’t laugh. But probably after hari raya lah because that’s my favourite. To settle everything lepas raya.

  1. Facial
    • I’ve only done facials twice in my life, both times in someone’s house and I really liked it even though I don’t remember now what exactly happened. I loveee watching face massage videos on youtube and also those blackhead squeezing videos hahaha so it’s only right lah kot that I go for facials? Right lah sangat. Maybe take up a package like once a month and six times in total ke. As I’m typing this, I’m also watching this particular massage video and I am very sian that the person is not me.
  2. Massage
    • Konon macam penat gila buat wedding planning so nak relaxkan badan before naik pelamin. But will I even be that tired? And penat with what exactly? The other time I went for the wedding expo I saw SpaJelita’s bridal package going for $500. What the hell. I suspect it’s just a normal type of spa but put “bridal” at the front and you’re allowed to markup like crazy. My last two spa experiences were in batam and they were so cheap I want to go there again solely for this.  But I don’t think any of my friends are up for it and I’m also not keen to pay hundreds for the ones here. Maybe. Idk.
  3. Manicure & Pedicure
    • Hahaha nonsense kan. But hear my excuse: my hands and feet have been looking dry lately and it will only get more dry with time, and no moisturiser can help. Henna won’t look nice on dry hands and feet and I don’t want my photographer to capture this. All those shots of husband nak sarungkan cincin later also not nice. My henna artist will also appreciate such smooth hands to draw on hahahahaha diam lah sigh.
  4. Hair Spa
    • I have been wearing the hijab since nine months ago after I got back from my most fulfilling umrah trip. And I don’t know about other hijabis but I’m the kind of hijabi who is so, so, sooo lazy to take care of her hair. I used to wash my hair every morning before work because otherwise it’ll get super oily but I can go on with not washing for like four days in a row now. Which is disgusting and I hate it. I haven’t had a proper haircut since Oct’15. SO IT IS TIME. TO SHINE.
  5. Sugaring
    • Because… hehe???

To be honest I’m actually just using the wedding as an excuse. These are some of the things I’ve been meaning to do and I guess there’s no better excuse than wanting to pamper myself before the wedding itself. I’m sure there are so many people (aka my mother) who’ll be all like eeee suka nah membazir kan lagi bagus duit simpan untuk lepas kahwin nanti. Haha. So anyone who has recommendations for the above please hit me up!

Tolong buatkan itinerary please!

It’s December soon.. which means we have about 10 months to go.. which is very fast.. and slow at the same time.. but we’re still adamant about starting it proper next year. Whatever proper is heh.

I’ve always had this idea of having the nikah and bertandang on the same day because it’s so easy and orang cakap biar abiskan penat satu hari. This was blatantly rejected by my parents because they think it’d be too hectic? And “oh, kakak dengan abang nikah hari sabtu so yours will be the same lah” -.- The only thing my parents and I have agreed on is a big nope to a combined reception. It saves money but.. when you’re boyan and your mom would like to believe she knows every boyan in singapore.. it’s not feasible at all. Imagine 1000pax wedding, and your invites is 750 while the groom’s side is 250.. mana aci lol. Combined lah sangat.

So I was playing the nikah on saturday and sanding on sunday itinerary in my head for so many weeks until Ghibli’s mom mentioned all the caterers she liked are fully booked or they don’t do weddings for 500 pax. Less than a year seh, mane nak carik slot lagi. And now aku dah malas nak type panjang panjang so this will all be in bullet point:

  • Both side suddenly agreed to have his reception after the nikah on Saturday while mine will be the whole day on Sunday
  • Because it won’t be held at his SIL’s void deck anymore (which is 10mins away from my place and something I was extremely happy about cos it saves a lot of time on travelling back and forth) but at a restaurant in Orchard Road….. punya jauh
  • Which means the nikah in the early afternoon has to be pushed forward to in the morning at 10am-ish as his reception is from 12pm-4pm
  • Ghibli and I are okay with wearing the nikah outfit the entire day but my family were all like “ehhh ape ni pengantin busuk busuk sama baju satu hari berlengas nanti badan” and insisted we get our own baju nikah and have a change of outfit
  • Which I absolutely hate because I never had that creativity of designing my own outfit and I don’t know what kind of kain is appropriate enough for a nikah
  • At that point in time Raf.fiey Na.sir had their $550 promo and my father was sold when I told him about it and he got it for me (YAY!) but communicating with the person behind it is sooooo annoying somehow I’m not looking forward having to deal with this vendor
  • But wearing two songkets from Naw.warah is making me secretly excited hehe
  • My biggest worry now is the extra $$$ we have to fork out because there’s no way the whole two day event will be under 10hours for mak andam, kakak amek gambar and abang amek video 😦
  • The itinerary is also a headache because wouldn’t my Sunday reception technically be a combined wedding sans his guests? There won’t be kompang and would it be easier if he got ready at my place but this means there won’t be the whole bertandang pengantin perempuan duduk kat pelamin kena tutup dengan kipas is it? Vat is diz……

I am looking forward to next year. I am definitely looking forward to meet Ramadan again inshallah. I also managed to khatam the Quran again two weeks ago alhamdulillah and would love to do it once more before October next year. And lose some weight without having to give up spicy nuggets 😦 Research on a good and beneficial marriage prep course that won’t make Ghibli play twister with eight other men infront of the whole class hahaha..

Actually the more I see it, the more starting proper means changing myself as opposed to planning for the wedding.

But it’s my money..

(Photo Credit: O.la O.la)

Before I jumped into this bandwagon, I used to feel sick looking at the dulang hantarans filled with designer items. Ferragamo heels, Givenchy handbags, designer wedding bands. I kept questioning kenapa lah korang suka nah buang duit beli benda gini. Do you genuinely want them or do you, pardon me, just want to show off?

After a while I thought, if you can afford it, why not? I don’t think anyone in the right mind would splurge on such goods if they truly cannot afford. I don’t think anyone would go “I have this last $2k let me spend it on this Chanel wallet for my dulang instead of saving it for marriage!!!” I know they say perkahwinan yang paling berkat is a wedding with the least expenses. But if you have the money, by all means, right?

I’m not saying this to sedapkan hati because I have made plans to buy expensive branded things. LOL I wish lah.. padehal dah bingit sendiri pasal makan mcspicy for lunch for $7 when I could have gone to a mamak and buy mee goreng for $3. Ade hati nak beli Chanel.. puitt.

Where did my money go?

When I shared with a friend the budget that I have set for photography and videography, I think she was shocked. Sure, all she said was “wow” but that sounds like there’s a negative connotation to it, no? I might be overthinking but perhaps she feels I am spending a little too much on these two. On my wedding.

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(Photo credit: D.Shootz Stu.dio)

I have said it before and I’ll say it again – if there’s one thing I can splurge on for my wedding, it’ll definitely be photography and videography. For the obvious reason that it’s the only memory I get to keep. I honestly don’t care about the little things like berkat and invitation cards (though I’ll source for ones with nice designs of course, I just wouldn’t overspend haha) and I also don’t give much thought about the venue or the decor. I spent quite a bit of time deciding on who should be capturing my wedding before I settled for SA and MIM. I had no interest to settle for 2-in-1 vendors with bundled packages, though they are a much cheaper alternative at less than $3,000 on average. I’m not saying engaging them means you’re compromising on the quality but.. I guess you just do what interests you best lah right? And I hate it when people say you are only going to watch your wedding video once so no point in spending so much. What do you know? Maybe I’ll make it a weekly ritual to watch it with my husband. Maybe I’ll force everyone to watch it during Raya.

On a slightly different note, wedding expenses are so scary. Before I made my first designer purchase (which cost me less than $1k), it probably took me six months of battling whether I should or I should not. Though I bet Ghibli was probably the happiest person because it meant he didn’t have to listen to me go “baaaabee, which color should I buy?” every single day for six months. But now, with the wedding planning, it’s like I don’t understand the concept of money anymore. In the last three weeks, I have made a deposit of slightly more than $1k. I only realised this when I was looking through my expenses app. It’s crazy! $3,000 for this? Sure, why not! Only $500?! That’s a bloody steal! God. And all this for a weekend wedding.

Now, how much is it to have Saiful Imran jazz up your wedding? Haha, just kidding.. too poor for that.