-90: ROMM & Bridal & RN

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(Photo Credit: Hafizudin Hamdan)

We took leave on the 10th to settle both our ROMM and outfit selection with our bridal. I have been looking forward to this day because yay settle benda benda kahwin so excited lah sikit since I haven’t been doing any wedding planning lately… even though it’s three months away haha.

ROMM was.. ROMM lah y’all know what to expect kan. We went on Monday, reached there at 10.30am and it was packed! We were told by the lady who verified our details that it basically works the same as polyclinics; mondays and fridays will always be packed. But it was a nice kinda packed? Seeing all these other young couples who are probably as eager as us to settle down. “Bapak, IC pak mana??” and “Pa, you can go in now. No no you go in first, nanti I masuk.” Hahaha kecoh gila I love it. I always thought we had to enter separately but maybe they were rushing for time so Ghibli and I entered at the same time? I don’t know. We were done in 45 minutes so maybe kalau pergi on Wednesday when it’s tak packed boleh abis in 10 minutes kot haha. Before making a move my parents took photos everywhere macam lah dorang yang baru abis interview.

From Fort Canning to Mustafa for lunch and then headed to Toh Guan after zuhur for Naw.warah Bri.dal! I guess it was okay.. but can’t help to feel I’m actually disappointed, like something I don’t want to admit? I want to pen down my experience but also don’t feel comfortable cos maybe there are people here who know them personally or maybe she’s in this platform too since she’s a BTB herself. But it’s not them lah. It’s me. It’s my fat ass to be precise. But it’s my blog kan so anyway..

We were told to choose the outfits we want to try but it was hard to see the dresses properly when they’re on the racks. Chose the ones I’ve saved on instagram but when I was in the fitting room, I couldn’t fit into any of them. I wasn’t sure if they’ve opened their jahitan or if it’s already at the max though. Ghibli’s rule to songket is only pastels and no loud/bold patterns/colours. And at this point I was freaking out because I feel like I didn’t have much choice left? Picking what I like now becomes picking what I can fit into. Sedih tak dengar? Haha. Suddenly I was made to try on this red/maroon songket with gold embellishments and although it looked good on me (hahaha), I know Ghibli didn’t like how it looked on him although he said it’s fine. I wanted to cry because what if I end up wearing something I don’t like and that I’m only wearing it because it’s the only one that fits?? For the record, I’m a UK10 for top and a UK12 for bottom. I’ve always had problems accepting my body and this bridal fitting only magnified my issue. Gahhhh.

So did I manage to find the right outfits? Yeah, sorta. They weren’t in my list prior to the appointment but you can’t have everything you want right. Also, I tried on at least 10 different dresses (6 songkets and 4 evening gowns) in three hours so I told myself I better like at least three of them. Ghibli got his two light coloured songkets so he’s not complaining and I really like the songket I’ll be wearing on my reception day so I look forward to that more. This was an exhausting appointment. I don’t know how brides are okay with not trying on outfits. So many I thought would look good on me actually tak lah lawa sangat hahahais

On Tuesday, RN (or his team I don’t know and tak nak tahu) texted if I was okay to meet him on Saturday (15th, yesterday) and I quickly said yes haha. I did text them the week before asking when would the first appointment be and after a few texts exchanged they still hadn’t answered my question and I got blue-ticked. So this time I said yes right away. I asked how the appointment was gonna be and they said 20 minutes hahaha terus skeptical gila okay.

Saturday came and the meeting did take less than half an hour okay! But we really got everything settled so lain kali husnudzon lahhh haha. We came knowing the exact color and design we I want so I guess this played a part. I said I because the only question he asked Ghibli was, “nak cekak musang ke telok blangah?” while I nak ni, nak tu, macam gini, macam gitu. I showed him a lot of his designs I found on instagram that he himself have never seen before (as in the photos) and he’s very surprised I managed to get hold of them ahaha. I’d rather get my inspirations from the designer himself so at least I know he’s capable of doing the same you know what I mean? RN is very accommodating and gave his opinions a lot. I told him I wanted a soft mermaid cut but my hips is telling me not to. He disagreed and said it’s very possible so yay. Random information: when he took my hip measurement he said Shila Amzah has the same measurement. Oh..kay.. can..

We also booked our flights for our honeymoon after skyscanner prompted that the price dropped $106 per pax! So we managed to get it at $338 and today I checked it’s back to $475 nyehehehe.

So there! My eventful wedding planning week.  Pending appointment with my decor, replies from my card vendor and henna artist of choice, my girls to choose the fabric they want to wear, wedding shoes and bouquet to arrive from online. All in this month!

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100, soon

3-4_months_to_go

Selamat hari raya, everyone! ♥♥♥

Right now we’re in between the 3-4 months to the wedding, and next week it will be the start of double digit countdown time. I can’t believe how fast time passes by. The start of the year feels like yesterday but at the same time it feels like so long ago? I know 3.5 months will go by in a flash but I still feel like my wedding isn’t until a year from now. I haven’t thought much about the wedding itself, we’ve been mostly discussing about our life after like housing (boleh jadi bahan pergaduhan everytime we discuss this k) and our raya itinerary for next year haha.

We finally got our rings settled yesterday. Nothing fancy, nothing too simple either. It has a thick band and I really like it! There was one time I was at this particular Lee Hwa outlet and the SA insisted I get myself a solitaire ring and you know lah, I cannot wear a diamond solitaire. The one I’ll end up liking would probably cost $5xxx and the ones I can afford would look so dainty on my already thick finger. But he totally disregarded the one I had my eyes my on and said my choice is nothing as compared to the solitaire yang dia mati mati nak aku beli?? Sure it’s nice but ape ni. Ding dong ding dong here and there and when he realised that we were not gonna make any deposit that night, member terus brought us to the door and said see you again next time. Dia halau kita okay!!! So far all of the customer service we’ve gotten at other LH outlets were really good but this one made me want to vomit only pfft.

July should be the month where we get to select our outfits and I am soooo looking forward to this walaupun it’s at freaking toh guan. There are some outfits that I like but not sure how they’ll look on me and Ghibli so luckily this bridal can try try as many as we like. And only then I’ll decide what colors my girls will be wearing. We’re getting our nikah outfits done by RN and this is something I am absolutely dreading. I’ve heard quite a few bad/mediocre reviews and now I don’t know if paying an additional $500 was a good choice. The customer service is horrendous. I asked them to correct my contact number on the invoice which they got wrong and they were all like “because i follow what u gave me above” LOL yah I accidentally gave a digit wrong which I corrected within seconds takkan bengap sangat masih pakai number tu!! Ape punya alasan ni. Then a month ago I texted again asking when would be the first appointment and they said, “I will get bck to u regarding the slots ok. it will be this mth.” Wahlao that time this month is ramadan okay and I asked again lah kalau July boleh tak and then she gave me the blue tick. Something tells me she’ll end up calling that wrong number when the time comes. I don’t know if I mengada-ngada sangat but ya Allah I don’t want to deal with them lah 😦

My brother and his wife are only moving out exactly a month to the wedding. This means I have less than a month to turn the room into a bridal chamber. To get new furniture, to paint, to decorate in less than a month seems daunting. There are so many other things to settle, aren’t there? Decor, bridal, hantaran, henna. Dulu cakap nak do everything after raya and now that the time has come, I have no idea where to start. I’m still pretty relaxed. Don’t know if that’s a good thing.

 

5 months to go so here’s an update!

Marriage preparation ourse: Went for our 1 day course at Apkim yesterday and we found ourselves crying 20 minutes into it haha sampai the trainer said she’s never come across such cengeng couple during these courses. First half was the personalised session while the second half we joined five other couples and it was hilarious. Except for the part where the second trainer keeps making sexual jokes and I don’t know about you, but I HATE it when Malays make sexual jokes like I will honestly get so uncomfortable and cringe. Not saying I’m a prude but sigh. I understand the whole layaning the husband is a wife’s responsibility but the whole time during the course it sounds like as if wives are sexual slaves. Then the whole class started laughing when I asked, “abeh kalau isteri nak tapi suami tak nak?” and the trainer lagi boleh cakap, “kalau gitu suami tu bodoh namanya!!” I don’t know how to feel about this. Oh wells that aside, most importantly, everything taught ada unsur-unsur agama. I’ve also been attending marriage related classes conducted by Muslim Youth Forum since beginning of the year when I’m free and the recent one titled “Sharing Your Husband with Your Mother In Law” was absolutely amazing.

Kain for family: The family has also settled their kains for Saturday and Sunday. Lepas beban because we’ve been debating what colors to wear and my brother told me off when I said no to one of the laces because “bukan kau yang pakai ape!!” haha memang betul but NO.

Dulang: Tarte had their festival sale last month and Sephora had the recent black sale and with this, I spent a whopping $7xx on makeup lol I hate myself Banyak lah nak save duit. Some of the items will go on my dulang so I’ve got about three settled. Left with two more dulangs. Need to buy ring and last dulang next month so tak payah pikir pasal ni lagi. Such unnecessary spending haha ugh

Tok Kadi/ROMM: We can register this coming week and I’m not sweating about this since my tunang and his mom will settle on “booking” of the tok kadi. Initially wanted my uncle-in-law to be my saksi and I was set on this for months until I realise how come I didn’t ask my brother eh? My mom talked to him about it to see if he’s okay and he was like yes of course and then she said “okay jangan pergi mana mana hari tu” ??????? Adik dia nak nikah kot?? Mana eh dia nak pergi?? Kelakar seram mak aku ni satu

Wedding card: Talked to the guy on whatsapp (my aunt got me to liaise directly with him) and he sent me basically a million pictures of wedding card samples until I don’t know how to choose. Coincidentally he lives right behind my workplace so I asked if it’s okay to meet him during lunch time to see the samples in real life and he said okay so yay meeting him tomorrow to finalise. Then left with the details and hopefully can no longer think about this by end of this month.

I don’t know what else. Still relaxed. About 150 days left. I hope to not worry about this during Ramadan so I can fully focus on my much needed detox and cleansing myself haha. Things should start getting busy in July. Kalau July pon masih relaxed aku tak tahu ape nak cakap.

Siapa cakap $50 to book void deck?

What happened to the cozycot malay muslim wedding forum and why did it close down?? 😦

(Photo Credit: Lini’b)

Does anyone know of any vendor/carouseller/ig store who does one of these customised rubber stamps? I don’t know what got into me but I feel like I want to have one of these and stamp on every single envelope of my wedding invites. The one I posted looks really great but I’d like to have more choices (read: it’s too expensive haha). If you had this for your wedding or planning to have please help a sister out!

My parents and I went to the town council yesterday to book the void deck. We made the booking for Friday with electricity and water too since my aunt will start her cooking on that night. Cooking on Saturday morning would be too rushing since nikah is at 10am? I don’t know. When will the decor people come to start their work? My aunt said Thursday night and that Friday night would only be for touching up but we’re only booking the place from Friday onwards so is this allowed?

There’s also a clause that states “no obstruction to sheltered passageway to ensure smooth flow of human traffic” (aka building a tentage at the walkway, the one that the annoying hdb officer sternly said no to) and I’ve been freaking out about this eversince lol. Especially when we’re planning to have a separate tentage just for the pelamin. Which will obstruct passageway even more. I’m not exactly a by the book kinda person but I’d rather not get into trouble? My dad told me not to ask the counter staff anything about it. If anything the clause said sheltered passageway and both the places we’re having the tentage at are not sheltered hahah. He was like, “Kita buat tentage so what? Majlis dah start they cannot do anything about it. They want to ban me from using the void deck to hold another majlis? My children are all married by then.” Fierce lah ni bapak. Tak dapat $300 deposit balik baru tahu.

But my ultimate worry is if there’s a cina mati happening before my wedding and by Thursday they tak nak keluar… I know they have to call the town council and the latter won’t accept if they wanna use the void deck if it might drag till Friday but we won’t know!! Janganlah ada jiran aku mati minggu tu 😦 For my sister’s wedding seven years ago, her reception on Sunday was supposed to be until 6pm but at 5pm like that, they came with the mayat and asked us to vacate lah!! I wasn’t at the venue then but I think we wrapped it up quickly so they could use the void deck since the mayat was already there waiting haha wth kan!! Block sebelah ada pe!!

Anyway something interesting – I don’t know if it’s exclusive to my estate but the first clause states to ensure there’s no kuda kepang performance?? Is it gahmen tak suka tengok orang in trance and makan glass?? Haha interesting. Aku pon tak suka.

Setengah tahun lagi gang!

6months

I’m left with less than six months to the wedding (WHAT! where did the time go?!) and it has also been six months since my last (also the first) meeting with my caterer (who will also be doing my decor, berkat, wedding card, wedding cake, bridal room, sirih dara, bunga pahar, bunga rampai..) haha actually everything lah but saje nak type semua.

We finally had another meeting to finalise some things yesterday and I’m extremely glad we’re engaging a relative (the caterer’s my uncle’s wife) to be in charge of the entire wedding. It’s so easy to communicate and negotiate and she knows what I like and what I don’t and I can’t imagine having this kinda conversations with an outsider. I mean, how do you exactly ask your caterer to use the fish head from sunday’s menu to cook up kari kepala ikan for saturday night? Hahah. Sometimes I feel kita mengada ngada since tukang masak is sedara sendiri but she’s genuinely obliging so we’re all happy!

Anyway, just last weekend I was on instagram and I came across this super nice wedding card/berkat vendor from Malaysia and I was half begging my mother to let me have this and not use my aunt’s even though it’s all included in the package. She didn’t mind and I was already asking the Malaysian lady a million questions. Satisfied with the design and price quoted until she told me it will cost RM250 TO SHIP THE 600 PIECES OF WEDDING CARDS AND ENVELOPES TO SINGAPORE. 2 5 0 W T H. So I’m back to using what my aunt is providing. I’ll have to liaise directly with her wedding card vendor and I won’t know the designs until end of the month when he’s back in Singapore so we’ll see. Lesson learnt lah. Jangan gatal tengok tengok instagram kalau dah settle benda. Buat sakit hati je haha.

For this month I’m left to settle the rental of aircooler units, booking of void deck this Saturday, and buying kains for my family next Sunday. Yay! Excited to be busy with wedding planning all over again hehe.

Unpopular opinion

hantaran

I am very sick of hearing all these hantaran talks that’s been circulating online. And I think it’s because I’m in the wedding planning phase that I’m easily triggered by all the comments made by netizens. You know how some people (mostly Malaysian women on facebook) say things like they only spent this little amount for their wedding? Because they decided to eliminate all these unnecessary spendings? Like having just mas kahwin with no hantaran. Or holding a walimah for nothing more than 100 pax. Yes, the most blessed marriage (nikah) is the one with the least expenses. But man, it seems like you’re doing the humble bragging. And it gets me everytime. It’s like you’re shaming those who chose to have a lavish wedding with five live stations and $20,000 hantaran. I know, or I hope at least, that it’s not your intention. Sigh. Why am I so affected with this.

Bride’s Girl Gang

bridesmaids

(Photo Credit: Hafizudin Hamdan)

I didn’t know I was going to have bridesmaids until my four girlfriends sternly and confidently asked said, “we are going to be your bridesmaids, RIGHT?” lol. I was put on the spot so I obviously had to say yes. Just kidding lah, I have been toying with the idea of having my own bride’s brigade and there’s really no one who’s more fitting than these girls. Quite literally cos they’re my only friends HAHAHAH!! And like, we live just a few blocks away from one another so it’ll be easy for me to pull a “malam ni korang free kan? tolong mak aku pack berkat pls?” or “tengok tengokkan eh dari tingkap kalau pelamin roboh ke tak” haha.

I thought bridesmaids were completely unnecessary until I saw my brother’s groomsmen. He had like around 10 okay wth?? While my sil had none?? Asal perangai bridezilla sangat ni isn’t it usually the other way round haha. Despite seeing how hard they worked on his wedding day, I still have no idea the roles my bridesmaids should take on seh….. I have only been a bridesmaid once and I was a completely useless one at it. And it was one of my closest friends’ wedding somemore. Menyesal gila and I still shudder at the thought of how useless I was haha.

So anyway.. yah. What help did you girls get (or planning to get) from your own squad? Someone to run the event and ensure the itinerary is being followed? Bride’s right-hand woman and mak andam replacement when she leaves? Side hostess to help your parents and guide guests to them and gather families for photo taking? Someone to liaise with vendors and make payments?

HAHA BENGAP LAH DAH TANYA ABEH JAWAB SENDIRI!!!

But okay this is something I’m quite curious about. The outfits they’ll be wearing. I’m not gonna make them wear Poplook dresses because it’s not them and I know they won’t wear it again. Does the bride pay for this or do they fork out on their own…? I’m leaning towards the former but if I’m already providing them the fabric, do I still pay to get them tailored or this is them? Isn’t it also troublesome to get my girls go through the hassle of having something tailored? The last thing I want is for my family and friends to feel my wedding is a burden seh 😦