It’s not that I am extremely excited and eager to get married (actually I kinda am lah but I try not to show it too much), I’m just mostly curious at what marriage life would be like with my fiance? You know what I mean? Other than important family (birthday) dinners, we don’t spend time with each other’s families. We also don’t hang out at each other’s homes to laze around and watch tv. We’re very much family oriented people just not with each other’s families lol. Kind of surprising I guess since we’ve been together for almost four years.
So lately I’ve been thinking a whole lot about it .. coming home to a husband, weekends with a husband, getting ready for work and attending family functions with a husband. Is it just like my life now but with an extra person or would things be completely different? I’m not talking about the new responsibilities we each gonna have as a spouse but more on the day to day activities.Surely I’m not the only one who has such thoughts?
I hold back a lot. Amongst my closest friends of five, I’m one of the two who’s attached and I don’t even know if the other attached friend has plans to get married. Yang lain jangan cakap, asik travel every other month ntah mane dorang dapat leave banyak banyak. So none understands the phase I’m going through. I don’t plan to share this journey either until nearer to the date because I don’t want to be labelled as a kakak kakak kemaruk gila nak kahwin. Although I know they won’t think of me as such but I can’t help it haha.
I obviously share my feelings (regarding this wedding/marriage journey) with my fiance, I mean this whole thing won’t exist without him kot. But even so, I find myself not expressing everything. Ntah asal, the more I talk about the wedding, the more I feel very superficial. Like I should talk less on wedding, and discuss more on marriage. But it’s not like we can skip the wedding kan? It still has to happen. And in order for it to happen smoothly, we need to plan it swee swee. But everytime I’m planning it, again I’d feel like aku kemaruk gila nak kahwin. Sigh.
250 days to go as of today. 8 months next week. Nak cakap lama tak lah lama sangat, nak cakap cepat, it still feels like forever more. Everytime I think of October, I think of the things I have to go through first at work. The 3 more exam blocks, 2 more university exam board meetings, and the endless exams ughhhh.
Okay my fiance just texted asking to meet after work to do some planning. Love it when he initiates the planning heheh.